Cats Play It Cool, But They Just Want Our Love
On how I'm learning to be a respectable cat uncle.
Happy almost-Thanksgiving everyone! While this time of the holidays is usually when we relax, scarf down our family’s cooking, and recklessly burn through PTO, this year is obviously scarier because of the COVID spike that we’ve been seeing around the country. I hope you’ve managed to find some sort of balance in this chaos and that you’ve got a plan for the holidays. Cheers!
Just this last week, my roommate Yoav was out of town on a vacation, so my other roommate Rishin and I cared for his two cats. At six months old, Naira and Zola are mere children with tiny palmable heads, so everyone that comes by gushes over their cuteness. As did I—they’re absolutely adorable.
They also baffle me. Cats have always been the coldest warm-blooded animals to me (every cat I’ve met has reminded me of Tywin Lannister) and these two, at first, were no exception. Unlike dogs, who clumsily and loudly express their affection, these cats seemed too dignified to do the same, instead climbing surfaces, grooming themselves, and using toilets like unconcerned aristocrats. They could be sinister, too, as they constantly practiced hunting by tussling to test power dynamics, attacking dangly objects, or jumping from surface to surface. It’s like watching two furry ninjas hone their craft.
Witnessing them for almost a month now has softened my impression of them, though. They’re no longer the cold careless creatures I initially envisioned. Here are some of their regular behaviors:
Sleep. A lot. Like 6 times a day.
Stare at you when they’re hungry, their eyes dilating. When you bring out bowls of Fancy Feast, they pop onto their hind legs to try to snag the bowl from you before you put it down, and the entire thing is it’s own exercise.
Look through the recycling bin for those Fancy Feast cans to score some final morsels.
Attempt to fight fictional objects on the wall when our projector plays a movie.
Lay down on the floor on their side, prepared for some solid belly scratches.
Lick their own fur so aggressively it looks like they’re head-bobbing while holding a steering wheel.
Pounce on cables, hanging bedsheets, those thin journal bookmarks, quarters, bottle caps, and circular packaging pieces.
Naira is smaller, more playful, and excitable. She’s quick to play with new people, and she lets us carry her around. At times, she can be a nuisance, trying to eat our food if it’s left out such that we have to move her off the table at least seven times before she finally gets the message and slinks away, but her headstrong nature is more fun. She’s at ease with new people, okay with being carried around, appreciates belly rubs, and communicates more with her purrs. She’s definitely the wilder and more “popular” of the two.
Her sister Zola’s the quiet, mysterious one. She hides from people most of the time, running away whenever anyone but Yoav approaches, mostly content watching people from her corner of the couch as her eyes droop and her head sags into a deep asleep. She’s wary and doesn’t like being petted. When Naira and her play fight, she always wins because she’s bigger. She carries herself with more grace, moving slowly, never scampering or rushing. On the rare occasion that she nuzzles my outstretched hand, I feel like I earned it somehow.
After a week of co-watching them with Rishin, these cats are no longer just cute furballs that I shower with my thoughtless adoration. I’m getting to know them more honestly as I slowly distinguish which parts of them come from their cat-ness, their baby-ness, their loneliness from Yoav being away for five days, etc. I’ve lately felt a deep discomfort with infantilizing pets, “aww”ing and baby-talking to animals that have clearly outgrown their youth (this goes double for cats, with their composure and poise), so it’s refreshing to empathize with them instead of patronizing them.
This isn’t to say that animals don’t deserve sympathy or affection—they often need the vocal cues from that sort of pampering to properly understand—but laying it on too thick seems to subtract from their dignity. Yes, I know these two cats are children and that I’m a mere tourist in the world of having pets, but think about when you were a kid and somebody treated you like a child. How frustrating was that? It’s a challenging thought because I can never know how an animal experiences life, so the comparison may not even be fair. But I catch glimpses of understanding every so often, like when the kittens mewl when they’re lonely, or crawl underneath the bed when they’re tired, or stare at me with huge dilated eyes, and I realize that they are, in fact, warm and vulnerable creatures, more than capable of receiving love and possibly even at giving it. I’m just learning what to look for.
If you’re a cat owner, lover, or video watcher, then shoot me some tips for cat loving. How do you play with cats? How would you handle a cat scrounging for your food? Help me become a good cat uncle. I’m interested in your thoughts!
Other Things Of Note
This short article, titled Where Despots Rule, about how the modern workplace mirrors a dictatorial government.
This clip of a man playing the Interstellar soundtrack on an instrument that literally makes sound with water.
The movie Before Sunset, the second in Richard Linklater film trilogy, in which two people randomly reconnect in Paris nine years after a spontaneous one-day romance in Vienna. Like the others in the trilogy, the whole movie is just conversation between the romantic leads, which sounds boring but is honest, clever, tense, and lovely as they slowly open up to each other about their lives.
The game Fort by Leder Games about choosing different types of friends with whom to build a well-balanced fort. Arguably at least as fun as actually building a blanket fort.
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—Chuckry Vengadam (@churrthing)
Congrats on your new nieces. Enjoy your time with Naira and Zola. Nice names:)!